One more thing haha!! The evangelizing stuff really gets on my nerves. Does God need a fan club? I mean honestly. And is God so tiny that he needs us to preach on his behalf? I don’t get it. I think if God wants someone saved, he’s God. I’m sure he can make that happen. That’s why I don’t understand the need for pastors. One guy with all the answers who’s really just good at marketing and branding himself. He’s Tony robins with a Bible.
I would say it is “goofy” if it wasn’t so damn harmful. It is sales/marketing 101 - literally telling people they have a problem and selling the solution, often at a premium cost of our humanity.
Yes!! That part about our bodies—I never have felt to this day safe in my own skin. I literally want to crawl out of it. Maybe this is why. From such a young age, I was made to feel like my body was some reckless thing that could get me in trouble. Pluck out your eye, cut off your hand…then yeah the sex stuff too. I’ve been trying to push myself out into the world, to meet different people (I do author interviews on Substack) and I have to admit, I feel so awful doing it. It’s a feeling not a fact for me though. I know it’s crap I’m trying to overcome so I do it anyway, because when have I ever not been afraid? Also the good friends vs bad friends thing. I think it is true that bad friends can be a horrible trend. But i think these churches have gone overboard getting you to despise your neighbor. I still just feel so out of place with almost everyone. And when you leave a church, a faith…God, who are your people anymore? I talk to almost anyone but I never feel like I’m one of them. Not sure if that makes sense. I have resigned myself to being a loner but I still push myself to do new things because I know my way of thinking is jacked.
“We then felt like failures for graduating without a spouse, legally able to drink, and still discouraged from having sex.” I felt this. I grew up Mormon and the culture around Women, what we can and can’t do. The pressure to cover up and be modest and to feel like I should be ashamed of my body instead of embracing the beauty of being a woman.
Oofff. I feel this, Kay. While I went to an “egalitarian oriented” christian university, there was still this pervasive patriarchy that blamed and shamed women. I am thankful for you sharing with openness and vulnerability. Your courage is an inspiration.
The FERVOUR with which I would take myself up to the altar as a youngster. I'm still unpacking it all. Actually, I'm only beginning to unpack it all. I have quite an inner resistance to dealing with this part of my life. But, thanks to you and this diagram, I was driving to work the other day after bringing women together for a book club in my home and saw a beautiful sunrise and found myself thinking, maybe this is what fellowship and spirituality can be. And that is the first time since forever that I've even thought it could exist for me. So, thank you. I may have room to unpack and rebuild after all.
While religious trauma really sucks, healing is always possible. Thank you for sharing with vulnerability, for leaning into that notion that spirituality can be more. It can always be more.
One more thing haha!! The evangelizing stuff really gets on my nerves. Does God need a fan club? I mean honestly. And is God so tiny that he needs us to preach on his behalf? I don’t get it. I think if God wants someone saved, he’s God. I’m sure he can make that happen. That’s why I don’t understand the need for pastors. One guy with all the answers who’s really just good at marketing and branding himself. He’s Tony robins with a Bible.
I would say it is “goofy” if it wasn’t so damn harmful. It is sales/marketing 101 - literally telling people they have a problem and selling the solution, often at a premium cost of our humanity.
Yes!! That part about our bodies—I never have felt to this day safe in my own skin. I literally want to crawl out of it. Maybe this is why. From such a young age, I was made to feel like my body was some reckless thing that could get me in trouble. Pluck out your eye, cut off your hand…then yeah the sex stuff too. I’ve been trying to push myself out into the world, to meet different people (I do author interviews on Substack) and I have to admit, I feel so awful doing it. It’s a feeling not a fact for me though. I know it’s crap I’m trying to overcome so I do it anyway, because when have I ever not been afraid? Also the good friends vs bad friends thing. I think it is true that bad friends can be a horrible trend. But i think these churches have gone overboard getting you to despise your neighbor. I still just feel so out of place with almost everyone. And when you leave a church, a faith…God, who are your people anymore? I talk to almost anyone but I never feel like I’m one of them. Not sure if that makes sense. I have resigned myself to being a loner but I still push myself to do new things because I know my way of thinking is jacked.
“We then felt like failures for graduating without a spouse, legally able to drink, and still discouraged from having sex.” I felt this. I grew up Mormon and the culture around Women, what we can and can’t do. The pressure to cover up and be modest and to feel like I should be ashamed of my body instead of embracing the beauty of being a woman.
Oofff. I feel this, Kay. While I went to an “egalitarian oriented” christian university, there was still this pervasive patriarchy that blamed and shamed women. I am thankful for you sharing with openness and vulnerability. Your courage is an inspiration.
The FERVOUR with which I would take myself up to the altar as a youngster. I'm still unpacking it all. Actually, I'm only beginning to unpack it all. I have quite an inner resistance to dealing with this part of my life. But, thanks to you and this diagram, I was driving to work the other day after bringing women together for a book club in my home and saw a beautiful sunrise and found myself thinking, maybe this is what fellowship and spirituality can be. And that is the first time since forever that I've even thought it could exist for me. So, thank you. I may have room to unpack and rebuild after all.
While religious trauma really sucks, healing is always possible. Thank you for sharing with vulnerability, for leaning into that notion that spirituality can be more. It can always be more.